An Ironic Father-Son Story #IRL | A Dad’s Point-of-View by Bruce Sallan

I’ve often dissed Hollywood and Madison Avenue for their depictions of dads, and men in general, for that matter. It is still not optimal, but it is changing for the better. How surprising to me that the best current portrayal of a father-son relationship came in a documentary about chimpanzees!

Yes, the DisneyNature movie, “Chimpanzee,” does their usual Disney formula of killing off a parent. But, this time it’s mom and this time dad steps up. Not reluctantly, but with pride and purpose. And, this time it was real and not a writer’s choice.

I loved the movie. I loved how they captured the family structure, world, and highs and lows of life in the rain forest. And, no they did not choose the story – the story chose them. It was indeed #IRL – In Real Life to use a common acronym that is bandied about.

Dad bloggers and other cultural pundits have correctly observed that Hollywood tends to portray dads in a doltish fashion. Somewhere along the way, maybe with the evolution of the PC Police, dads became the butt of jokes. If you touch a woman or a mom, the army of mom bloggers and mainstream media will hammer you. But, dads were okay to ridicule.

Thankfully, we’re not just getting Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, and the like anymore. There have been recent GREAT ads by Volkswagen and Clorox in which dads were cool, competent, and smart. More will be coming. Hollywood will follow because Hollywood really has no moral compass other than profits. For that matter, neither does Madison Avenue. This is not meant to disparage these fine commercial institutions, but just to recognize that most of corporate America is morally neutral.

I also love the ironic choice of names for the stars of “Chimpanzee.” The baby boy chimp was named, Oscar. The adult male that adopts Oscar is Freddie and the evil rival chimp leader is Scar. I thought choosing Scar was a weak name choice, given that name was so effectively used in “The Lion King.”

Why is Oscar an ironic choice? Well, Oscar was one of the two lead character names in Neil Simon’s great play/movie/TV series, “The Odd Couple.” I loved Oscar in every incarnation of that great play and I love that the adorable and somewhat rascally baby chimp in “Chimpanzee” shares that name. I wonder if the filmmakers saw the parallel?

What was so encouraging about the portrayal of Freddie and Oscar’s burgeoning relationship was that it avoided the usual pitfalls of the dumb dad. Yes, they could only manipulate the story so much, but given the narration they had many opportunities to have made fun of Freddie and his parental choices, especially since he was an adoptive father.

The word, “Irony,” keeps coming to mind when I think about this loving portrayal of father and adopted son. How ironic that this big studio movie may be the first recent one that does this portrayal with such respect for the father’s role. In fact, the genders could have easily been reversed as there was little-to-no sexism portrayed in the movie. I love and so respect that.

Maybe we are finally moving to the right place in media’s discussion and depictions of parenting. It isn’t what’s between your legs that determine a good parent; it’s what’s between your ears and in your heart. I still assert that men and women inherently will approach parenting and, most things for that matter, in different ways. But, instead of making one right and the other wrong, let’s look for the good in both.

And, when we’re having fun at a parent’s expense – and there’s plenty of opportunity for humor – let’s choose the humor rather than the gender in how we portray dads and moms. I didn’t love the movie “Bridesmaids” because I don’t care for crude humor, but I did love that for once, it seemed, women were the butt of the jokes and portrayed as goofballs, too. The box office success of that movie only reinforces that that choice reached out to everyone without the need to focus negatively on one gender.

“Chimpanzee” is simply a remarkable movie. At the end of it, there are some short clips with the filmmakers, in which you get a taste of the hardships they endured over several years to capture the 120 minutes of this spectacular film. In ironic ways, they lived some of the hardships of being a parent. They endured the highs and lows parents experience, and watched and filmed an unfolding story in which they did not know the outcome. I can’t imagine enduring their journey but I am so grateful that they took it.

Bruce Sallan, author of “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation” and radio host of “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” gave up a long-term showbiz career to become a stay-at-home-dad. He has dedicated his new career to becoming THE Dad advocate. He carries his mission with not only his book and radio show, but also his column “A Dad’s Point-of-View”, syndicated in over 100 newspapers and websites worldwide, and his dedication to his community on Facebook and Twitter. Join Bruce and his community each Thursday for #DadChat, from 6pm -7pm PST, the Tweet Chat that Bruce hosts.

What the Heck?! | Laughter for the Soul

Melanie Lightbourn-Rowe is a member of  Single Mothers Outreach. She has her own blog, Laughter for the Soul.

Posted on October 21, 2011 by laughterforthesoul

Children should have fathers; I get that. The reality of my situation is that of a single parent, and I have embraced it for all it is worth. My oldest son, however, has not. Consistently, he has beckoned for me to take a look at a photo of a good-looking man, point out a possible candidate at a park, (forgetting that all men there are complete strangers,) and simply making suggestions for me to go out on a date. He has no idea that by Friday, the only date I want to have is with my pillow and DVR shows I have missed for the week.

Life often throws us curve balls, and some people end up in places where they never expected. I have taught for over twenty years, and while quite a number of my former students have done exceptionally well for themselves (some making twice my salary), others fell into unfortunate circumstances that have landed them behind bars for a while. I connected with one such student recently and was happy to know that he was alive and doing well. I expressed an interest in making a visit to see him one day to which a reply was sent a few weeks later. The letter remained opened on my kitchen counter, and I walked away, forgetting that its contents were exposed.

The letter included a lovely photo, but outlined specifics that the prison system would not allow. No wires on bras, no jeans, a recommendation of dollar bills and coins for the concession stands and visiting hours were specified. My eldest was in the kitchen making a snack while my nose remained buried in a stack of books I was studying. A few moments later, I heard a loud scream.

“MOM!” He hollered at the top of his lungs.

“WHAT!” I hollered back just as loudly.

“MOMMY!” His assumption was that I must not have heard him the first time since I did not come racing down the stairs to answer him.

“WHAT IS IT?” I screamed again, hoping that he would get a clue that I was not moving and he would want to make his way up the stairs to express his concern.

I heard footsteps bounding up the steps, and a very heated child stood at the foot of my bed, a letter hanging at the side of his body. He threw me a perplexed look and shoved the paper in my face.

“Uhh, mom!” I saw the paper clearly. “You’re getting our new dad from a PRISON?!?!”

It took everything in my being not to burst into laughter in front of my child. He was serious as a heart attack, and I feared he would have one if I went along with it and told him, “Yes.”

“Oh NO, baby!” I chuckled. “That is a student of mine from a long time ago!”

“You’re marrying your STUDENT?!?!?” He was done.

“NOOOO!!!” I replied. “He is in jail honey, and I am going to see him.”

“And why would you do that?” He asked.

“Because I want to check on him to see how he is doing.” Silence. More silence. Wait for it…

“Well,” he said. “Just don’t tell him where we live!”

He was innocent in his assumptions, but serious with his intent. He left the paper on my bed and walked away, still a bit exasperated.

If I decide to ever get married again, I am certain that it will be a grueling experience for my new mate. As long as he is not a cell mate, I think he will do well!

Laugh, people. It’s good for the soul!

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan | Tikkun Olam Encouragement for Single Parents

Single Mothers Outreach helps move single parent families forward. We loved this piece written by former single dad, Bruce Sallan. Enjoy!

Three Wooden Crosses

I have the joy of living across the street from a beautiful man-made lake. There is always roving fowl and other wildlife in and around the lake and it’s an ideal location for an early morning walk. Often, I listen to music and often I am inspired by ideas along the way. On recently hearing the Randy Travis song, Three Wooden Crosses, I had to write a seasonal column based on its message.

The first time I heard Three Wooden Crosses was at a Randy Travis concert just a few short years ago. The lyrics captivated me and it’s become a favorite song of mine ever since. Country music often tells stories that have heartwarming messages. I’m a sap for that stuff and I love it. And, the holiday season just magnifies those emotions for most of us.

Let’s take a look at the first words of this song, which begin telling the story:

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin’ on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One’s headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An’ two of them were searchin’ for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An’ eighteen-wheelers can’t stop on a dime.

In a few short lines, we are on high alert that a tragedy is coming. We’ve met the characters and we’re hooked. Who will die? Who will survive? What lesson will we be told?

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go.

Ah! One person survives. Who is it? We don’t know yet. But, the chorus has revealed the heart of this song’s message and the part that GOT me, “it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it’s what you leave behind you when you go.”

Those of you that follow the A Dad’s Point-of-View Facebook Page know that every Sunday is #FaithSunday in which I ask the same question, “What are you doing to repair the world?” I then share a link to something that I hope is inspiring.

That expression about repairing the world comes from the biblical expression, “Tikkun Olam,” which literally means to repair the world and is expressed in the Bible as an obligation of our lives. When I began my second career as a writer, my first goal was to make a difference (in the lives of parents). So, this song and its message resonate very strongly with me.

No one on their deathbed wishes they’d worked more! No one on their deathbed wishes they’d had more possessions. No one on their deathbed wishes they’d had more fun. Mostly, we wish we’d spent more time with and touched our loved ones. And, mostly we hoped that our lives had some value and that the world was a better place for our having been here.

The song continues,

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an’ love for growin’ things in his young son’s heart.
An’ that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give ‘em all a better start.
An’ that preacher whispered: “Can’t you see the Promised Land?”
As he laid his bloodstained bible in that hooker’s hand.

Again, the song reels us in and we think that the hooker has died holding the preacher’s Bible. But, like every good country song, there’s a surprise a-comin’.

That’s the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that bloodstained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: “Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an’ the preacher”
“Who gave this Bible to my mamma,
“Who read it to me.”

The first time that I heard this last part of the song, I was completely suckered in. I loved it. I had to immediately get the song and hear the story again. Again, that last line of the chorus struck me to the core:

I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you;
It’s what you leave behind you when you go.

As we head into the mania of the holiday season, I ask you to reflect a little less on the shopping and cheer, and a bit more on what your life purpose is. What impact do you want to leave the world? Is that promotion more important than attending your kid’s soccer games? If you miss that business convention to attend your daughter’s recital, will you miss anything of lasting importance? Have you helped someone in need or bought the newest iPhone?

What are you doing to Repair the World?

Bruce Sallan, author of “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation” and radio host of “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” gave up a long-term showbiz career to become a stay-at-home-dad. He has dedicated his new career to becoming THE Dad advocate. He carries his mission with not only his book and radio show, but also his column “A Dad’s Point-of-View”, syndicated in over 100 newspapers and websites worldwide, and his dedication to his community on Facebook and Twitter. Join Bruce and his community each Thursday for #DadChat, from 6pm -7pm PST, the Tweet Chat that Bruce hosts.

A thankful single parent? http://ow.ly/7

A thankful single parent? http://ow.ly/7Gj2H

Advice: Single Parents Need Single Parent Friends

October 11, 2010

By Christine Coppa

Yesterday I did something important for JD and me. I hung out with my single mom friend, Mareesa and her 3-year-old son, Cristiano who JD calls, “Crissy-Na-No.” I met Mareesa when I was working in an NYC office on a 2-month freelance gig this past Spring. We shared a cubicle, but our backs were to each other. At the time, I was going on a two-yearstretch of working from home, all alone. I was excited to be back in the office, around creative, BREATHING people. We didn’t really speak for the first few hours, but then I whirled around and complimented a picture on her desk. It was of a little boy in a Superman costume. Read more…

Along the Way with Michelle Tall: “Once Upon a Time”

by Michelle Tall

My younger brother and I used to listen to Hansel and Gretel on the record player down in our family room.  It was the late 1970’s and this record player was encased in wood, resembling a medium size coffee table.  I remember it always smelled of lemon furniture polish, growing more pungent especially as we listened to record after record.  I remember also the smell of the vinyl getting warmer as it turned round and round beneath the delicate needle.

Hansel and Gretel scared us to death and my mother tells us about the summer when we played it nearly every day.

I remember hiding under one of the kitchen table chairs as Hansel and Gretel happened upon the Gingerbread house deep within the forest.  Oh how that witch cackled on that record.  Never again have I heard a cackle as terrifying as the one from that record.

This is a treasured memory that always makes me smile whenever it comes to mind.  It marks the beginning of my discovery into the magical world of stories.  Stories of witches and little girls and boys.  Stories of mountains made out of rock candy and gumdrops.  Stories of beanstalks and giants and heroes and noble steeds.  Stories with sprites, fairies and pirates.  Stories from far-away places with delectable names and enchanted villages.  Where queens were either very wicked or very kind.  Where woodland creatures protected the little girl who found herself lost in the woods—and of course there were always the chirping birds who tied pink ribbons in her hair with their tiny beaks.

In the end, Hansel and Gretel got rid of that scary old’ witch and had a joyful reunion with their mother and father.  That’s simply how it was in the land of happily ever after.  Squealing with delight, I would crawl out from under the dining room chair as my brother lifted the needle and placed it at the edge of the record to begin the story all over again.

I began collecting children’s books as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I would even read them out loud to my ever-expanding belly, hoping to pass on my love for literature and fairy tales to my, as yet, unborn baby.

So today, when my toddler asks me to read him a story, the TV gets turned off immediately as I chastise myself for not having thought of it first.  And for me, there is hardly anything better than snuggling on the couch with my little guy on a rainy Saturday afternoon and hanging out with our silly, tea-party lovin’ friends and one very calm caterpillar from Wonderland.

(Tucker likes the white rabbit the best—and really, what’s not to love about a frazzled rabbit who is perpetually late for something that is clearly very important and may possibly have to do with a certain date?

Single Parent At Home With A Sick Child

How to effectively juggle work and sick kids when you are a single parent

Source: Articlesbase

Although my son is now 15 years old, whenever he gets sick it will forever be a difficult decision between work and my “baby.” It’s crunch time at work, its end of month and the books have to be closed, your boss is on your back and you are an accountable person by nature, time is against you as you race to finish everything. While your mind is flashing through the million things you still need to get done, the phone rings. It’s your child’s school nurse. She’s running a with a fever, with body aches and needs to be picked up. It is only 11 am and she was fine when you dropped her off at 7:30 this morning.

Her dad is no where to be found and there are no any relatives that can drop their lives at 11 in the morning and drive about a mile to get your little girl. You can think of a few reliable people (friends, neighbors, in-laws) but you have non of their numbers with you.

You can never really plan for your child’s sick days like these but you can set some procedures in place. Here are some ideas you may find helpful before you find yourself in what seems like chaos:

1. Buy a daily planner with an address and phone number addendum or uses your phone as an organizer if it allows you to, record those individuals who are your network of support when sickness happens. Keep this with you at all times.

2. Get an erasable magnetic monthly calendar and attach it your refrigerator door. Record all support contact information (including contact numbers) on the appropriate days. Don’t forget to include your activities with phone numbers too. Then when sickness occurs, everyone in your home will know where and who to call.

3. Hold weekly family meetings. Keep the lines of communication flowing. If changes occur to the family sick-day plans, everyone needs to be included in the discussion.

4. You should never be the only person that knows how to do your job, train others for situation which you cannot avoid, keep the line of communication open for times like this when  you must leave, you can always have a back-up for your duties.

5. Let your boss know from the beginning that you have a child and ask for flexibility in unseen circumstances.

6. Put in a little extra time and show team building and workmanship, so that your manager will be flexible with you when these times arrive.

7. Think about the job before you sign the employment form, if you have to choose consistently between the job and your child(ren) you perhaps will not be happy, and that may not be the best place for you.

8. If possible and allowed by your company ask for the flexibility of working from home in times like these-you never know if this is possible unless you ask.

All working single parents have faced this dilemma. We love our children deeply. Yet how do we effectively juggle work and sick kids—especially as a single parent? This balancing act is sometimes very challenging. Do we ignore out children and continue working, let the school and caretaker handle it or do we put our child(ren’s) need first. Sometimes, when our only means of financial support is your job, it will seem as if we are stuck between a rock and a concrete surface!

According to the National Association for Sick Child Daycare, every day more than 350,000 children under the age of 14 are too sick to attend school or daycare. Working mothers stay home from their jobs from five to 29 days a year to care for their sick children (one-fifth of all U.S. children living in families are headed by single parents). So how do you prepare for those unexpected sick days with your children?

As a single parent stress a given, there is not one single parent that can say they have not experiences stress and or anxiety at some point. So here is the key to survival:You must be Flexible. Composed. Un-impulsive and think things through. Well, that is easier said than done, but with practice it is attainable.  Single parents must be open to constant change. Growing to accept and adapt to this daily pressure will help.

Determine the Degree of you child’s sickness, if you can, do so before you send them off to school or daycare–this is a plus. To get through the door some parents under estimate their child’s illness and send them to school or daycare only to be called by 9 a.m. to pick him up. If your child wakes with a fever 100 degrees or higher or is vomiting, he’s probably contagious and should stay home. Most other symptoms—running noses, achiness, sore throats—are speculative. Also try to discern if his symptoms of “illness” are a result of something else psychological going on with you or his environment that has brought on this illness to your child. Some kids have a very difficult time dealing with changes of the only parent they see, so consider, are you traveling in the upcoming weekend? Are there changes in your personal life (e.g., a new romance, an unexpected death, a recent move, a newly remarried ex-spouse)? Is your child struggling with his teacher or friends at school? Though these questions don’t immediately assist you in the morning as you’re trying to get out the door, they are questions to ponder and discuss with your child when you return home that evening.

Monitor you child’s illness and begin to make arrangement for the “perhaps.”  If things are really bad, remember to call into your supervisor at least 1 hr before your shift and leave a very clear message that you will not be in. If this occurs too often some supervisors may want a doctors not-that is just something to keep in your mind at all times.

Develop a Support Network of family and friends, baby sitter to Call. Don’t wait until your child is sick. Discuss your sick-child plans with these individuals thoroughly. For example, ask how they feel about having a child with a fever or a sore throat at their house. Using this type of forethought will also assist you in considering if your child is old enough to be left alone at home.

Locate Facilities that Offer Daycare for a Sick Child. In 1986, there were 36 national public daycare organizations for sick children. Today there are over 300 such facilities. Perhaps there’s one near you. Contact your local hospital for information or Google search for it.

Work Respectfully with Your Supervisors. Help them understand you want the situation to be a win-win. This could be an opportunity for the company to lower overall costs. In her article “Chicken Soup for the Working Parent,” writer Sandy Wendel shares how the CIGNA Corporation developed an on-site Working Well Moms lactation program to support new mothers who wish to breast-feed at work. CIGNA has reduced medical costs for breastfeeding mothers and their children by $240,000 annually and saved $60,000 through reduced job absenteeism of breastfeeding mothers. If your workplace doesn’t have programs available for parents with sick children, talk with your human resource manager about possible options.

Manage Guilt. Dr. Marilyn Heins, pediatrician and author of ParenTips (Development Publications), says the best way to prevent guilt is to “(1) accept yourself and your work status, (2) be aware of your child’s patterns of illness so you can best evaluate your child’s symptoms, (3) don’t let your child think that being sick is the only way to get time with Mother (or Father).” Guilt can rob you of the peace God desires for you.

Remember to “cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Finally, enjoy the time with your sick child, never let them feel as if they did anything wrong by being sick, When it becomes clear you must stay home, use this time as an opportunity to enjoy your child. Make the most out of a day at home. Provide cuddling and an ear to listen. Tender comfort through touch can actually nurture a sick child towards wellness.
A sick child is inevitable and it may seem as if it happens at the worst time. Remember that your child(ren) are very precious and there will be many job and career choices that you can win at, so you are allowed to fail. But is you fail at being a loving parent, there is no winning for anyone. Trust your instincts when determining the level of your child’s sickness. Ask for help. And above all, trust God. Nothing is occurring today that has not passed through His hands first. He knows both you and your family before you were formed in your mothers womb.

Prayer changes things. I always pray for favor on my job and favor with anyone in contact with my child.
Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/career-management-articles/single-parent-at-home-with-a-sick-child-4214793.html#ixzz1EQ3XheMs
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

How to Get a Free Car Seat

Source: eHow

By Sara-Jean Fisher, eHow Member

How to Get a Free Car Seat

User-Submitted Article

Car seats are one of the most expensive baby items for parents, but they are also one of the most important. All 50 states require that infants and toddlers be restrained in a car seat whenever they ride in any vehicle. If you cannot afford to pay in upwards of $100 for a car seat for your child, then here is how to get a free car seat:

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Visit Your Local WIC Office

   If you are already signed up with WIC, then your office likely has a program where you can get a free car seat. Contact your WIC office, and ask them about their free car seat program. You are required to take a class – usually an hour to two hours long – to learn about car seat safety and how to properly install a seat. Once you have completed the class, you will receive a voucher to get a free car seat.

   If your WIC office does not have a free car seat program, ask them to refer you to a WIC location that does. You may be able to visit another location to participate.

   If you are not already signed up with WIC, you can learn more about the program and how to apply by visiting the link below and searching for a WIC office closest to you:

   http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/howtoapply/default.htm

2. Check Out Your Health Insurance Policy

   Almost all health insurance companies – Medicare included – offer car seats for free to insured pregnant or new mothers. The easiest way to find out if they offer car seats for free is to check out their website or give them a call. You will either receive a car seat directly from your health insurance coverage, or they will cover the cost up to a certain price point for you to purchase a car seat from participating retailers, like Babies R Us.

3. Get in Touch With the State Police Department

   Your state police department not only has a free – and sometimes mandatory – program to teach parents how to install car seats, they may also help you get a free car seat. Every year, the state police receive grants to help low-income families get a free car seat to keep their babies and toddlers safe while driving. To learn more about getting a free car seat through the state police department, give them a call on the non-emergency number (do NOT call 9-1-1 to reach them!).

4. Call Your Town’s Municipal Office

   Many towns have a program to find low-income parents free car seats for their children. Contact your local municipal office and ask them about any free car seat programs they have. If they do not run their own program, they will be able to refer you to a program that can help you. You may need to prove your income in order to qualify.

5. Ask Your Family Church

   Many churches have programs developed to help low-income families, new moms, ans single moms raise their children and get the baby gear they need. Get in touch with your priest or pastor to see if the church can help you in any way. Besides a free car seat, your church may be able to help you find low-cost or free food for your entire family, free baby clothes, toys, and other gear that you’ll need to keep both you and your baby happy, healthy, and safe. If they don’t have a program themselves, they will definitely be able to refer you to a program that can help. Or, they can ask the parishioners to help out by donating whatever they can, and help you get a free car seat, stroller, crib, and whatever else you need through the kindness of your neighbors and friends.

Read more: How to Get a Free Car Seat | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5140490_car-seat.html#ixzz1Ce9wDhob

Ten Ideas From the First Hundred

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

I find it hard to believe but this is my one hundredth “A Dad’s Point-of-View” column. How best to celebrate this milestone? I’d like to look back at the previous 99 and choose ten strong ideas among them and briefly share them with you, by giving the title of the column and a short summary of what may be the little pearl of wisdom that came out of the 800 plus words contained within it.

1. There’s No Such Thing as Quality Time.

I learned early on in my parenting that the often-quoted notion of “Quality Time” was bunk. The only thing that matters to our children is “Quantity Time” since the only time they will open up is when they are good and ready. You can’t schedule time with your children the way you might with a business appointment and the moments that will surprise you the most are when you least expect it. There is no such thing as quality time, only quantity time.

2. Gratitude

About five years ago, I survived a car crash that should have left me dead or worse. A man I greatly respect, Dennis Prager, has often said that the single most important ingredient to happiness is gratitude. That accident reinforced, very dramatically, his words to me. Too often we are living our lives waiting for that something we think will make us happy rather than counting the blessings right in front of us.

3. My Kids Aren’t Me, in Spite of Sharing the Same DNA

I learned a valuable lesson about parenting before I became a parent, when I was a Big Brother to a little girl. We shared nothing in common. I learned to bond with her in spite of our differences and found that experience to be the best prep course for parenting my own two boys, who also turned out to not fully share my interests. Too many parents think that just because their children share their DNA (which of course is not the case in adoption) that their children should share their same interests. All this does is set a pattern of hurt and disappointment for both child and parent. Don’t do this. Support what your child is interested in rather than push him or her to do what you want them to do.

4. Words That Hurt, Words That Heal

The power of words can be as harmful as the power of a fist. With the advent of modern technology, we’ve seen the damage that a simple text can do to a middle school child when something hurtful is spread around about him or her. And, like a leaf blown in the wind, it can’t be retrieved. It is incumbent upon us as parents to teach our children to watch what we say, what we write, and what we text and to model good behavior in this regard and not gossip and not disparage others with casual disregard.

5. Best Friend or Best Parent

The job of being a parent is not being our children’s best friend, yet too many parents confuse the two and try to be their children’s buddy. To achieve this buddy status, they forego being their best parent. That may mean not being strict, not holding high standards, or relaxing them when their children pout or throw a tantrum. Being the best parent you can be may sometimes mean your son or daughter doesn’t like you at a given moment. So what. Being liked isn’t your job. Being their best dad or mom is!

6. Do Women Need Men?

A popular feminist slogan of the 1960’s and 1970’s went something like: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” “We’ve come a long way, baby” is another slogan, I believe, from a cigarette that was marketed to women during the same general era. More bunk. Women need men just as much as men need women. It was foolish to think otherwise back in the hippie days and it’s foolish to think so now. The fact that women now can earn as much and can do what men can do just levels the playing field but doesn’t change our inherent natures.

7. A Story of Giving

One of the blessings of my writing and radio show is meeting people from all over the world. I met a group of children from a girl’s school in Ghana, Africa, through my “A Dad’s Point-of-View” Facebook page. My family began sending them books and soon my readers and radio show listeners were also sending them books, toys, and other things. We all learned the blessings of giving and charity and how when we give, we get so much more than we ever could expect.

8. There Are No Perfect Friends

My mother taught me this basic lesson and I kept on forgetting it as I kept on wanting my friends to be perfect. Just like me. Ha! I also saw how my own boys got into spats with their friends over silly and unrealistic expectations of their friends. My mom always said that if you wanted perfect friends you wouldn’t have any.

9. The Family Dinner

I read somewhere that the children from families that share meals together suffer fewer problems than those that don’t. The family dinner is essential glue for my family and something that belongs as a ritual in every family. As our children grow older and their friendships and extracurricular activities intrude more and more upon their lives, it is easier to allow the family dinner to drift away. We parents must insist on having a family dinner at least once a week, period.

10. Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Empathy is a simple but very important word. How often do we pass a homeless person without a thought or glance? Or hear a friend’s problem and promptly forget about it? Until you really do as the song says and walk a mile in someone’s shoes, you can’t really know what he or she may be going through. Too often we are caught up in our own problems, big or small, to pay attention to someone else’s problems, which I suggest, are usually bigger than ours. A little reflection upon someone else is a good thing to do now and then. It is good for your soul. I hope these short reflections from these columns give you some pause to consider the blessings in your lives, maybe to think what you might do to help a friend or neighbor, or to simply hug a loved one and offer a kind word or thought. For me, it’s on to the next hundred.

Please listen to “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://www.brucesallan.com. Bruce created and launched a new website for those who would like Tech help, called BoomerTechTalk (http://www.BoomerTechTalk.com). Bruce’s column, “A Dad’s Point-of-View,” is available in over 100 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his “A Dad’s Point-of-View” page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan.

Single parent living on a dime with an attitude of a millionaire

Source: The Examiner

Written by: LinaH Palermo, Houston Motherhood Examiner, December 6th, 2010 8:06 pm CT

Today as we look at our children we think: is there something more I can do? Is there something we can do to make our lives better?

Well, if you are single and thriving on every dollar, then be creative. Life is not about money or the newest games you can buy them; it’s about working as a team knowing that every thought your child might have or imagine we can make come true.  No, I’m not saying let’s build a mansion, but make what you have in to what you think is a perfect home or a perfect day.

Sometimes we get so stuck in a daily grind, wake up, get the kids ready, drop them off, go to work, then pick them up and then go home and do it all over again the next day. I live in a two bedroom apartment and the things we come up with are great.

For example, even the smallest things like some string, construction paper, scissors, and glue count.  With these, we made the room into something they wanted; they cut their names out and hung them on the wall. They put the string across one of the walls and hung pictures of our little family.

I sometimes feel the need to be more, to have more, but then I think what I have is already amazing. I come home after a stressful day and one of the kids thinks of something new and you just start to feel alive again. I might not have a mansion or a BMW, but I have the perfect home.

Everyday a new problem comes in to our lives or your late for work because one of the kids didn’t want to get dressed. We all have our stressful, emotional break downs I’m sure, but know this: time goes by so fast and you don’t want miss a step because you had a hard day at work or you want to watch your show.

Be a kid again and your kids will love you for it because its not about what you have, it’s what you do have and what we make of it.