Stories from Single Mothers Outreach – Meet Christina

Christina

It truly is sad when the life doesn’t turn out to be what you dreamed of or planned. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? You find another meaning of what inner strength really means. You learn to deal with what’s going on because all your friends say to you, “I know someone who is going through what you’re going through and she’s not this sad.” We are no longer friends.

Fall 2010 FPU Class

Can you actually understand the meaning when someone says, “It’s hard!”? It doesn’t mean that you can’t eat out at your favorite restaurant, go shopping for new clothes at the mall, or have a small birthday party of 20 for your child. “It’s hard” means that you don’t go to the mall to shop for clothes, you don’t eat out at your favorite restaurant, and you don’t have a birthday party for your child. You wonder if you will make enough money this month to keep your four walls strong.

When I became a single mom, my daughter was four months old. Looking back now that my daughter is five years old, there were moments that were truly a blur. It was difficult and the feeling that no one understood was always on my mind, until one day when I looked up on the Internet “single moms in Santa Clarita.” That’s when I found Single Mothers Outreach—and I sure am glad I did.

I have to say that I have been pretty low-key since I joined, but I have always loved reading the inspiring stories on the SMO website and have used the resource guide to help find help around the house and with my car.

I have the opportunity this year to take the Financial Peace University that SMO offers. I cannot express how much it has helped me. As a single parent there are moments that you say to yourself, “You deserve this!” Or you want to fill that empty void and you think buying stuff will help you. I have learned that the stuff you buy that you think will make you feel better will put you more in debt than you will realize.

I saw the light at the end of the tunnel; it was cloudy at times, but I got there. I have raised a smart, funny, and beautiful girl. She is everything to me and I love her so much. I have forgiven her father for everything he has done, and I am glad that he is back in his daughter’s life. We are friends and that is what I always prayed for. I may not have planned my life this way, but I am sure glad that it is this way. I couldn’t be any happier and I am glad that there is a place out there for single parents to come together and help each another! Thank you SMO for all you have done.

This story helped me out when I was going through my rough times… hope it helps!

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee. You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen, filled three pots with water, placed them on the stove, and brought each to a boil. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the third she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee into a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she said, “Tell me what you see.” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the daughter replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each object had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting; however, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg was fragile at first. Its thin outer shell protected its liquid interior, but after sitting in the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans, however, changed the water, creating a delicious hot drink.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of yourself and ask, Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

May we all be coffee!